✿Reaction✿

It’s easy to think that we can’t change the way we think – that thoughts just happen and we have no control over them. While this is true, we can choose how we react to them.

Thoughts are not necessarily true or helpful and we can learn to
react to them differently.

I’ll use a school playground bully as an example here.

Most schools playgrounds have a bully. You know the type. They are all talk. They may threaten violence but most of their tactics are in spiteful name-calling.

The bully picks you as their victim, laughs and points at you, and accuses you of being stupid.

How will you react?

You could get upset and run away crying. The bully will enjoy this reaction and will know that they can use this method again.

You could instead, think about what the bully has said, and respond with something like, ‘I beat you in the spelling test this morning, so I’m not stupid, am I?’ The bully will be taken aback by this and might eventually give up if this is the response they get.

Or you could look at the bully, not react at all and just walk away. The bully won’t be expecting this reaction and might not bother to bully you again, particularly if you repeat this behaviour.

It is like this with our thoughts. We can imagine them as our internal bully. We can either be upset by them and react automatically. We could challenge the thoughts and ask for hard evidence before automatically believing them. Or we can notice them, acknowledge them and realise that is just a thought and choose not to believe it. By repeatedly walking away, we will over time lessen the frequency and strength of the thought.