During stressful times, we tend to be driven by our emotions and opinions, which create a vicious cycle by fuelling each other. Our emotions strengthen our opinions, which in turn, intensify our emotions.
This leads to impulsive acts and unhelpful longer term consequences, which help to maintain the overall problem.
It can therefore be helpful to ask ourselves whether what we’re thinking is FACT or OPINION.
If it’s a fact, then we can make choices about what we can or cannot do.
If it’s an opinion, then we can look at the facts – what we do know about the situation.
Realising that many thoughts are opinion rather than fact makes it less likely that we’ll be distressed by them, and more able to make wise and calm decisions about what the best action is to take.
Ask yourself the following questions.
What am I reacting to?
What is really pushing my buttons here?
What is it that I think is going to happen?
What is the worst, best and most likely outcome?
How important will this be in 6 months time?
Am I expecting something that is unrealistic from this person?
Am I overestimating the danger and my ability to cope?
Am I using a negative filter or gloomy specs?
Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
What are the consequences of responding as I usually do?
What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
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